Kiss
Puke
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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