how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
