There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize