: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
