Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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