Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
