I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish i was in the wii world.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
A+ Viking dick
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
