the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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