Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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