I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
