Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
