There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
farters have to be the big spoon...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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