She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
