We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
