I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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