I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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