I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
