Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
