Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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