K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Duck Duck Cougar?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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