I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
