ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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