Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
