Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
