What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
