Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
