just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
