well I can't set my house on fire every night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
