Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
