We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He felt like a one man threesome
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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