I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
