I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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