I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
