I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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