On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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