I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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