The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize