Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
look no pants
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
