She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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