i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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