he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
