I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
