Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
