Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
