So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
