I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
