I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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