I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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