so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
