i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
