Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
bring money and cleavage
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize