She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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