Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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