New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
