Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
