Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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