haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
