At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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