none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
