Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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