she was so not down for the gang bang
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
