It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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